I am puke
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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