Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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