trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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