I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize