why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
