hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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