I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
