my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
