Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
