I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
