Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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