i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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