I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
