he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
