He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize