did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
