i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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