Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
