he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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