I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
