yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
