I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
