But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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