How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
