Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
