this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
