i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is this like a preordered booty call?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
