the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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