8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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