Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
