You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
50% drunk capacity currently
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
