if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
