man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
