The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
