idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize