How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
