we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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