Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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