well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
