i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
