ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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