I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
