ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
