I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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