don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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