I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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