I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
