My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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