listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
