I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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