I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize