I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize