I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
