Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
North Korea, Best Korea!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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