i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Randomize
