we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She needs sedatives and a leash
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
