don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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