Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
