i would punch a child for taco bell
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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