dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
