As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
