So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
